Shoplifters of the World...

Here I am, at my parents' house, pretending that I'm back and everything's in its proper place... Pretending I'm nice, I'm fine, happy, whatever. Well, I'm fine and happy, and whatever.

And I know this is all for myself. The problems of the self... But now I do have problems from a real life, like several things to decide, and how to spend money properly, how to support the house, the cat, the relationships... I'm truly worried about my cat. And I'm getting bored again.

I don't know, maybe it just took me too long to realize that I'm sick and tired of a bunch of things - and people. I wanna spend money with silly things again, I wanna go out with my friends and get drunk with no financial regrets, I don't want to spend my life trying to please people that I don't even care of, just because I have to. It's just not me. People should be trying to please me, instead.

And now, that I don't have to pretend who I am anymore, I feel like I'm the greatest pretender.

I should be glad because I'm doing fine. I'm about to be promoted again at my job, I'm able to afford a good place to live - and save money at the same time. My boyfriend and I are going to Europe next year, and maybe I'll go to Paris, to suffer a little bit in a gorgeous dress, sipping a good red wine... Yeah, yeah. But you know, something is always missing, that's true.

I wanna get a better job, I miss some of my good "fellas", I miss doing lots of things at the same time, I don't like being alone on sundays, I miss myself connected to a place that I know - but I don't miss RG =P

I've been leaving myself behind a lot lately. Now it's time to change again.

It's not time to be sad, but to do something. And soon I will.